Dhukha

As promised, this next entry is the elaboration of Dhukha in my life.

Dhukha-- craving, desire, dissatisfaction, suffering... the first mark of existence in the Buddhist tradition.

We crave for things and we desire for situations to be one way when it's the other. We are dissatisfied with what we have and/or what we are given in life. In turn, we suffer pain and unhappiness.

We crave for understanding, we desire love; we are dissatisfied when things turn out differently than what we wanted them to be. Sometimes things are thrown in our paths and we do not know what to do... Dhukha—a nature that resides in all human-ness.

I recently experienced a grave loss in my life; A loss so great that my life will forever be changed. No doubt it brought me a lot of pain, and it continues to do so, but I have gained Wisdom once again—Bhavana-mayi-prajna, Wisdom based on experience and practice.

I have acquired the understanding of Love—unconditional and true Love, which was something that I did not understand before. However, I do regret. I regret that it turned out that I had to lose this Love in order to learn and understand fully the meaning of it. But I am still blessed.

Some would say that I am a sucker for pain, but I believe that pain brings about growth and thus, life. And to bring a little Christianity to this discussion, the passion and suffering of Jesus on the Cross, was for our growth and was for Life—abundant Life.

I count myself very fortunate to be blessed with a lot of Bhavana-mayi-prajna in my life, because that is the most important type of Wisdom in the Buddhist and Hindu tradition, though that means that my life is quite a struggle.

However, it is through the cultivation, the healing of the heart, and working through struggles that Wisdom can be acquired, and this would mean to have to go through Dhukha in the first place in order to have that environment for cultivation.

I guess I can say that I choose to embrace Dhukha, to accept that this is a very important aspect of our existence. We can’t hide or run from it, although we could learn and use it to cultivate peace, understanding, love, and qualities that will bring about Life and ultimately, Happiness.

Perhaps this can parallel what some people mean when they say if you can’t change the situation, change your attitude towards that situation. It is then, we will be happy.

Dhukha, I think, is also brought about by the desire of the heart to be attached or hold to an idea, a situation, a person, etc. Although the idea of having a goal is good, I have learnt that we have to be opened to what life brings to us.

Sometimes, we think that we know what reality is, and we hold on to that idea so tightly that if anything were to disrupt it, we get upset or unhappy. Perhaps, here, we should learn from Jainism, especially the Syadvada School, the “could-be” school of thought of Anekantavada—the doctrine of manifoldness. We view reality and hold ideas of reality from different perspectives, and each of these perspectives only see a part of the entire Reality. Maybe as humans, we could see things from different perspectives and always challenge our own views in order to see Reality as a whole. To be opened, I guess, to the ideas of others, new environments, and situations that life throws to us. To put ourselves in the shoes of others, to empathize, and to cultivate compassion that way. To see things from the spectacles of others, and to adjust our own constantly to see Reality as a whole.

Through Dhukha, we come to accept Anitya, impermanence, in life, in our emotions, our ideas, and our environment. I will elaborate more on this point in my next entry.

However, I do desire and crave simplicity too. Sometimes I wish my life was simpler than it had been. But as life would have it, many things are not up to us to control… Different people make different choices in their lives, and since humanity is interconnected, one choice made by one person often affects another person. But as I have mentioned above, if we are always opened to life and what life has to offer to us, we will be able to rise up beyond those cravings, desires, dissatisfactions, and pursue Happiness.

I guess through the recent Dhukha I had to carry, I have gained a lot of Wisdom-- openness, understanding, patience, peace, love... I believe that I will continue to realize and acquire more Wisdom as I heal, and as I cultivate my heart towards Happiness.

I choose to embrace Dhukha, I choose to embrace Life. With these, I have experienced the first mark of existence. I am blessed...